Historical Events for Book of Jonah
G-d @jonah Get down to Nineveh
Wed, Dec 31, 0010 09:06PMJonah Should I go to Nineveh? If I go then I might end up saving Nieveh, who will end up being the cause for the 10 lost tribes #collegequandaries
Thu, Jan 01, 0011 07:30AMG-d You care too much about the people! Stop disagreeing with how I run the world!! #Iamthebaus
Thu, Jan 01, 0011 08:00AMThe Wind Going to huff and puff and blow this boat down
Fri, May 06, 2011 08:00AMJonah Not really in the mood to listen to G-d #fleeing
Tue, Feb 28, 2012 07:15PMSailors How are we gunna survive this terrible storm?? #Bigtrouble
Sun, Mar 04, 2012 07:00AMJonah zzz zzz zzz #G-dgotmyback
Sun, Mar 04, 2012 09:00AMSailors Wake up Jew boy! The boats going down!
Sun, Apr 01, 2012 08:09AMJonah All my fault. Going to sacrifice myself to save the boat :'( #suicide
Mon, Apr 02, 2012 03:00AMFudgie The Whale Found a tasty human in the ocean #freefood
Tue, Apr 03, 2012 02:00AMJonah In a whale's stomach #fml
Thu, Apr 05, 2012 04:00AMThe Wind My work hear is done #unemployed
Wed, Dec 11, 2013 07:03PMSailors The storm stopped! We're saved! I swear I will never do any illicit action again! G-d please accept my sacrifice! #imabeliever
Thu, Jan 01, 2015 02:00AMJonah Please get me out of this fish G-d!!!!!!!!!
Fri, Jan 02, 2015 07:00AMJonah Please get me out of this fish G-d!!!!!!!!!
Fri, Jan 02, 2015 07:00AMJonah Pretty pretty please get me out of here!!! Its cold and dark and scary :'(
Sat, Jan 03, 2015 03:00AMJonah I am truly deeply sorry!!! I realize I cannot run away from You and my destiny. I will go to Nineveh and convince them to do Teshuvah. PLEASE get me out of here. (preferably asap)
Sun, Jan 04, 2015 03:00AMG-d @fudgie_the_whale: spit that human out please
Sun, Jan 04, 2015 10:00PMFudgie The Whale Belchhh! That human did not sit well in my stomach #bulimic
Tue, Jan 06, 2015 01:00AMG-d @jonah Giving you a second chance don't mess up. Get down to Nineveh! ...NOW!
Wed, Jan 07, 2015 12:00PMJonah @nineveh In 40 days your city will be destroyed
Sat, Jan 10, 2015 03:00AMNineveh We believe in Hashem!! We will all fast and don sackcloths
Sun, Jan 11, 2015 02:00AMKing of Nineveh @Nineveh PLEASE RETWEET: Neither man nor beast, neither cattle nor sheep shall taste anything; they shall not graze, neither shall they drink water. And they shall cover themselves with sackcloth, both man and beast, and they shall call mightily to God
Mon, Jan 12, 2015 09:00PMKing of Nineveh (part 2) and everyone shall repent of his evil way and of the dishonest gain which is in their hands. 9. Whoever knows shall repent, and God will relent, and He will return from His burning wrath, and we will not perish.
Mon, Jan 12, 2015 11:00PMG-d @nineveh @king_of_nineveh You guys have done well. Not going to destroy you anymore
Wed, Jan 14, 2015 07:00AMJonah @G-d why was Nineveh forgiven? They're bad people. You're too nice. Kill me. Now. Do it. Stop being so nice.
Wed, Jan 14, 2015 11:00PMG-d @jonah Are you deeply grieved?
Thu, Jan 15, 2015 10:00PMJonah Chillin in my hut on the outside Nineveh. hmu
Fri, Jan 16, 2015 03:00AMTree I've been summoned by G-d
Sat, Jan 17, 2015 02:00AMWorm In the mood for a nice fiber filled lunch
Tue, Jan 20, 2015 10:00PMTree ahhhhhhhhhhhh I'm being eaten alive. Save meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Thu, Jan 22, 2015 02:00AMJonah What happened to my tree?!?!? PLEASE KILL ME!
Fri, Jan 23, 2015 05:00AMG-d @jonah Are you sad about your tree?
Sat, Jan 24, 2015 04:00AMJonah @G-d YESSSS. KILL ME. Pretty please
Sun, Feb 01, 2015 03:00AMG-d You took pity on the kikayon, for which you did not make it grow, which one night came into being and the next perished. Now should I not take pity on Nineveh, in which there are many more than 120,000 people and many beasts as well?
Mon, Feb 02, 2015 04:00PMG-d Dramatic ending. Bump bummm
Tue, Feb 03, 2015 03:00AM